Last week, when John McCain and his gang of political dwarves struck a deal with Democrats saying that the Dems could only filibuster under "extraordinary circumstances." Of course, in grand political fashion, no one said exactly what that meant. All we knew was that they couldn't filibuster the three judicial nominees up for votes. Great... but what about the rest of the time? Since McCain promised we wouldn't use our Constitutional Option (and Frist said he would use it), these left-wingers could claim anything to be "extraordinary."

Just two days ago they used their kung-fu filibustering to delay (yet again) the vote for John Bolton as U.N. ambassador. Now they won't vote on him until late June, after the Senate's comfy recess. Thanks, guys, because I'm sure that "recess" is an "extraordinary circumstance."

Well because I know all of us on the right are as confused as the next about what this phrase means (just about as much as Clinton didn't know the definition of "is") I have decided to lay out some "extraordinary circumstances."

Here's a list of what I would consider "extraordinary circumstances" that would call for the Dems to filibuster a vote.

• There is a terrible Earthquake in Washington D.C.
• A power outage in Congress makes it hard to navigate a room full of desks.
• Hillary Clinton, in a rare occurrence, decides not to be a cold witch and takes everyone out for a picnic.
• Harry Reid and Woody Allen switch places (because you know they look exactly alike!) and the French don't notice a thing.
• Somewhere in Montana, a tree is being cut down. Because this means the tree no longer has more government protection than humans, the Democrats rush to its side to provide it with comfort and a promise for revenge.
• Ted Kennedy, in his normal drunken rage, drives his car into an IHop and injures John Kerry (who was making waffles, of course).
• Michael Moore is in town, so Congress takes the day off to go and watch him film.
• The opposition has to take a breather after they realize that John Bolton isn't related to Michael Bolton.
• The Left is afraid of being wrong.

Okay, so now that we have examined a few reasons that one might sensibly filibuster... let's look at the "extraordinary" circumstances today's Democrats had in mind when they made that agreement:

• The wind blows
• Plants are giving off oxygen
• The Republicans are in a majority
• Bush was re-elected.
• Food enters the body in through the mouth and exits through the rear.
• Arlen Spector is actually in town to vote.

Well... let's hope that the wind will stop blowing and maybe then we'll get some decisions out of Congress. I mean, unless of course the Republicans stop messing around and bring back the Constitutional option. Please, Senator Frist? I'll give you a cookie?